New Lessons everyday !

Living alone and all by yourself teaches you much more than you can ever anticipate. I am not saying that you would learn rocket science theories...but those very little and small things which we tend to forget as we grow up.

I was in the IMU(Indiana Memorial Union) lounge yesterday. I was whiling away my time reading some stuff on my laptop for the entire day. Just then I saw a clutch pencil lying on the table near by. Some one must have left it there.And I smirked...thought to myself as to how careless can people be..leaving things like this..having no value for small things...I did not even realise that when I picked it up to revolve around my fingers. Before I knew, it was evening and I had already taken a nap sitting on the couch. A friend of mine called up inviting me to play Lawn tennis.I packed my bags to leave for the court. Before leaving I was extra cautious to look around. Did not want to leave any of my belongings there..While I was unplugging my laptop, I reminded myself to pick up the power chord. I don't know but there was something which gave me a feeling that I might loose the chord today. But I was a self proclaimed super genius..i cannot be careless..I left IMU with a sense of being responsible. Played at the tennis court, reached home, had my dinner and then opened my laptop. Nicely chatted with folks back home, saw a coupla videos on Youtube. At 12 in the night, when my battery signalled that it is going low, I searched for my charger. Ransacked my entire bag but could not find it. I was anxious and scared. I did not want to loose charger of my new laptop..and that too so soon.I started tracing back the events which had happened during the day. There was a possibility that I have left it at IMU, but could not be sure as I remembered reminding myself to pick it up before leaving. I searched for the help desk number of IMU. But at 12.30 in the night, i was highly doubtful that some one would answer my call. But, I was lucky enough because some dude did pick up my call. I explained him my concern, but even he was not sure about the missing charger. I sank in my chair, thinking of how expensive would a new charger be ! I decided that first thing I would do in the morning would be to go and check it myself at IMU. While I was planning all this for the next morning my hand went in the pocket of my jacket and I realised that I had the same clutch pencil in my pocket which I had seen at IMU. It was the same pencil at whose owner I had laughed at..damn, I muttered ! How could I have picked up some one elses' stuff. It was unintentional, but now it was in my hands.I could not have explained the same to the owner had he / she conjured infront of me at this very moment. I started thinking that my missing laptop charger is the result of me picking up some one elses stuff ! May be that person must have come back looking for the pencil, but would not have found it, coz i picked it up. I decided that not for my charger, but for dropping this pencil I would go back to IMU and keep it at the same place where I had seen it for the first time.

So I got up early morning and left for IMU at 9. I usually like walking and avoid taking the college bus.Today, I realised that I was walking with double the pace I normally walk with, wondering if I would get my charger back...Thinking all this, I finally reached IMU. Went traight upto the couch I was sitting y'day. I could not see my charger anywhere there. So I went to the front desk crew. God Bless those souls..they had kept my charger with the them..I was so relieved to have it back...

After spending some more time at IMU, I was about to leave for my work at the Library Kiosk. Just about when I was to leave, I put my hands in the pocket of my jacket and realised that I had the same pencil in my pocket, reminding me of its original location..I smiled, thanked the lifeless thing for teaching me something new and kept it back on the table I had found it a day before..

Smiling all the way, I headed towards the Library Kiosk for my on campus job at the cafeteria...

Comfortable Silence...

" SILENCE " One word which has different interpretations. In primary school, when I was asked to remain silent...with finger on mi lips..it seemed like a punishment.Damn..i was thrown out of the class if I did not remain so.. During High School days, i craved for silent surroundings so that i could study in peace. Aha..then came the unforgettable college days where I discovered 101 ways to interpret silence. If my closest friend was silent, it meant it is probably the most dangerous time to fool around, when my prof. went silent in response to a question it took me a fraction of second to infer that he does not know about the subject, when the entire class was silent - it meant that the attendance sheet is yet to be circulated in the class.

When I travelled in the local trains and buses in mumbai, i came across yet another kind of silence...perhaps the most comfortable one ! The silence between the commuters. No one bothered to speak to each other,no one really cared who you are or from where you come, it hardly mattered as to who was sitting besides you. You had space of your own even in a 2 by 2 seat where you were not answerable to the person who was sitting at a distance of not even 1/2 a cm. I guess, this is one of the metro cultures which I love the most. Had the same situation been in my home town - bikaner or jaipur, people on board would have become best pals with each other by now. I so remember when i was travelling from Bikaner to Mumbai in a train with my grandmother, she had almost managed to figure out a far off relationship with another family who happened to be in the same cabin as ours. The link was traced from chacha, kaka, mama, bhatija and all possible permutations and combinations of relations were applied to arrive at a conclusion that my co-passengers were related to us. ***Phew***

But what the heck, i love the soltitude in a crowded bus and the silence which exists !

Ab Kuch Kuch nahin hota !!

Year 1998, I still re-collect..I was preparing for 10th standard. The so called study leave period had been prolonged owing to the repeated postponing of my board exams. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai a.k.a KKHH was a much awaited relief during the longgg wait i had to endure ! It took me a coupla days to convince my folks that a 3 hour movie will not digress my mind from studies. I did everything and anything which my parents commanded so that I could watch KKHH...Saw it once in the theatre..was truly,deeply madly in love with the movie...saw it again...and went crazzzy after it...i adored everything abt the movie. Identified with Kajol, wanted to be like Rani and fantasized for some1 like Sharukh. I felt a sudden need to change the National Sport of India to Basket ball...prayed for a college like Xaviers and desparately wanted to attend a summer camp. "Love is Friendship" became the mantra of my life ! Flip side of the story being that thinking of Love at that age was outta question...and freinds..well I was in a all girls school till 10th Std. But kehne mein kya jaata hai... Anyways, so after my exams got over, I purchased the video cassette (VCDs were an alien thing for a small town kid then) and religiously saw this movie once or twice every week. When the count reached to 50, my bro asked - "U seem to have some problem understanding the story ??"

Flash forward - Year 2007, June..have nuthin better to do than to surf TV channels...u can't do anythin better when u r in a house arrest due to heavy rains..Sony set max is showing KKHH and i stop scanning channels further...decided to watch the movie and remember some good ol days. To my amusement, I could not connect with the movie at all..the story seem to be running without any logic, the situations so unreal and the dialogues so cliched. My critical brain which is usually dormant when watching Bollywood movies, came outta hibrenation and started analyzing 'a decade' old work of Karan Johar...

Cudn't gulp in following things --

1) Having seen colleges in mumbai, I can say that college life is no where close to as it has been presented in the movie. My college principal wud have to take a re-birth to find a prof as hot as Miss Briganza.

2) How(more importantly- Why) would an oxford student(Tina - Rani M.) leave her studies mid way and continue the remaining part of it in India? Guess u can have tht liberty if u r princi's daughter.

3) I am still trying to search for this Xavier's college in India, where there were no classes/assignments / lectures for students. All they had were proms, Goa trips, sports, flings, heartbreaks et al.

4) I am not sure if Rahul - Sharukh even completed his bachelors ! Even if he did, some1 please find a B.A / B.Com grad for me who gets a privelege to attend the International Trade Conference's. All in suit - boot...hw did he manage that job ?? Did I miss out the campus placements in the movie somewhere ?

5) Even before delivering the baby, Tina knew that there'll be so much complication in the delivery that she wud not survive. okk...may be i am unaware of the progress in medicine..lets assume that docs made her aware of her situation before hand. So when did she write those 8 letters to her daughter - during the delivery or while dying? And while dying how cud she speak for 30 mins at length ??

6) Tina wrote 8 letters (1 to be given on each bday)for her daughter so that the baby girl can know her mother better. OMG !!! I did not know that the new borns can read/write right from the very first bday.

7) For 8 long years , Kajol was undergiong a make over? Does it take that long to get outta a pair of jeans and drape a saree around !

8) As long as Anjali - kajol was a tomboy, Rahul cud jus see her as his best buddy. But the moment she transformed into a proper girl sorts..his feelings changed..and he cud see a potential gf / life partner in her ! Hw does appearance and looks matter as far as feelings such as LOVE / friendship/ affection are concerned ?

9) Why did Anjali wait for 8 years ? I c..till then Sallu bhai was wandering in Jodhpur jungles to hunt a chinkara..is it??

10) Summer camp- the funniest part. When no other kid can get their parents along...Rahul, Anjali nd Granny are the only exceptions who get to stay on the campus..and sing songs..and play charades..and get wet in the rains and have a romantic ballroom kinda dance.

11) Rahul takes absolutely no efforts to confess his love to Anjali. Even when he reaches at Anjali's wedding uninvited, he has no better thing to do than to play charades..to say those three words "I LOVE U". All he does there is watch Anjali shed tears and reciprocate with even bigger ones. He acts superdumb till the end. Thanks to Sallu, who told Anjali - maaf karo bhai,jaao uske paas !

Ohh...mannn...look at what have i done to a movie which i adored so much ! Does this happen to every1 who thinks he has matured in 10 yrs...may b m watching 2 much of sensible stuff these days that my childhood favorites seem extremely stupid to me nw...I guess I am ok...all i need is some break frm this over worked schedule of mine...so dat i can get back to watching another Karan Johar drama ;)

Last piece in the jigsaw puzzle fixed !!

University : Indiana University, Bloomington
School : Kelley School of Business
Program : MSIS
I-20 Amount - $ 35,815/yr ; No AID ; Course Duration : 18 months.


VISA APPOINTMENT : 14th June, 2007
VISA TIME SLOT : 8:30 AM
VISA STATUS : Approved ; No docs checked - Didn't even touch the folder.

P.S : For only VI, please scroll down directly and avoid the crap..others' who are a lil vella like me, read on !!

Changing weather in Mumbai gifted me with a terrible cold , cough, a running nose and a severe body ache, juss 2 days prior to my interview .. Wow..i thought to miself.Generally, I don't easily accept gifts, but had very little choice this time. Owing to this, I took extremely good care of myself in the last 2 days... I mean thats what i thought until I was declared as Paranoid by folks at my place. M still puzzled as to what exactly did they find unusual with me...I just demanded for bland boiled food without spices, asked for chappati if rice was cooked and if chapatti was served, I gently requested for khichdi, gargled every 1 hour with salted luke warm water so that I don't loose my voice on the day of the interview, did some ramdev baba yoga b/w every gargling nd steam sessions, used gestures instead of voice(was saving my voice for the D day) , asked my bro to attend to my calls(since I didn't wanna use even 1% of my vocal powers ...talking to credit card nd mobile company representatives)...i guess thats it...Dunno what made ppl at my place think that i have gone bonkers ! Anyways, I jussss ignored there remarks, thinking its a consequence of the generation gap !! one wud think, "Generation gap..?? " how? why? wht relevance here?? But dats the nly phrase my folks & I have mutually agreed to refer to any of the disagreements b/w us

Anways, I wanted to have a complete 6 hour sleep a night before d interview (had read somewhere on d forums..sleep well, so that u wud look fresh..blah blah..YES, i forgot to add in the above para..I religiously followed things which were written by ppl @ Edulix !! I realised it today morning,(abt mi dilegence with following edulix advise), when my brother asked me - "If you don't mind and if its written on ur forum somewhere, do u mind taking an umberella along?? Jus in case it rains !! I made a face and uttered Damn ! ). Anyways, so lets continue the story...so I went off to sleep at 11:00 PM last night. But before going off to sleep I again proved myself a **GENIUS**. I collected all the cell phones available in the house -- 2 from folks, 1 cusin's, 1 mine and nicely arranged them on a table near my bed. Ahh..forgot to add the alram clock. okk...so each of them were tuned to ring with a time gap of 10 mins, starting at 4:30 AM sharp.

First alarm...missed it somehow, opened my eyes gently at 4:45...calculated the time(11 PM to 4:45 AM)..still 15 mins to complete the essential 6 hours sleep(couldn't defy that...was written on forums yaar...so after turning sides in the bed with eyes closed for 15 mins, I got up at 5:00 AM sharp nly to find all d people in my house standing by my bedside ! Naaaaaaah...not to wish me gudluck...dats too early, juss to take back their mobiles and switch off the alarms so that they cud go back to sleep. Any sane person wud have peacefully got up at 6-6:30 for the 8:30 AM slot, but i ws being different since last 2 days...Gargled, got ready, visited the small temple in society , had a gud breakfast at 5:45 AM [have never seen this time of the day in consciousness...nd here
I was munching bread-butter nicely. Arey baba...had read y'day only that gurls were fainiting and all...so one shud eat properly before leaving...ab forum pe likha tha..so had to comply with the same

Wished Goodmorning officer to everyone at mi place(was checking if my vocal chords were still functioning) ; Left home by 6:00 AM, and reached consulate by 6:45 AM. My bro had insisted on leaving by 6:45 so that we wud be at the consulate arnd 7:30ish(as per a cautious student's standard) , BUT, where was i listening to any1 ? So..we reached early..My bro had expressions which some what looked similar to -- I knew it was pretty early...but had to save myself from bro's temper... " So what ??? " I declared !! Look at the brighter side of reaching early...I'll get to talk to the tea vendor or bisleri bottle seller or the newspaper wallah...They might juss give me some last min tips or some **critical info from inside the consulate** which might help me during the interview(they see the proceedings day in and day out ) ...Hearing this, bro went **BLANK**...removed ear plugs from his pocket and started listening to some god foresaken FM channel...It was a clear indication that he was in no mood to listen to any of my non-sensical talks and I had no option but to strike a conversation with the newspaper walla...so here i was, interviewing the poor chap at 7:15 AM in d morning...

Newspaper walla wud be referred henceforth as - NW.

[ME] : Bhaiyya, mera 8:30 ka time slot hai...
[NW] : {toh main kya karun??? types look} acha acha...abhi toh kafi time hai...aap bahut jaldi aa gaye...TOI / HT doon kya? Time pass ho jayegaa...
[ME] : {beta, apna business kar raha hai...mere saath smart ban raha hai...time pass...huh?? meri jaan nikal rahi hai...yeh time pass karne ki baat kar raha hai } Nahi bhaiyya, mein apne yaad kiya hue answers bhul jaaongi..
[NW] : {toh mera time kyun waste kar rahi hai types look...} Chinta mat karo madam, acha hi hoga...
[ME] : Hmm...acha kitna time lag jaata hai approx. ek student ko waapis bahar aane mein?
[NW] : {Mein kya sabki chokidaari karta hun kya?? } Subah Subah jaldi ho jaata hai...chinta mat karo{looks here and there...must be thinking..mera peecha kab chodoge...}
[ME] : ok ok...phir toh acha hai...lekin kissi kissi student ko toh bahut time bhi lagta hoga na...
[NW] : {Arey toh mein kya karoooon?? } Was really putting in efforts to think hard to say something that comforts me...

Bro comes to his rescue...bhaiyya ek TOI dena...takes it and gives me a stern look - which meant shut up..FINGER ON YOUR LIPS !! Damn..NW escapes...**sigh**

It was 7:30 AM and I was getting impatient with every passing minute..was watching the shuttle buses coming and going, parents wishing gud luck to their wards,7:45 queue was taken inside...I was helplessly waiting for mi turn...at last my line moved to the next footpath...Yeah, at mumbai consulate, u progress as per the timeslot to the next footpath..

At 8:00 AM i was flustered, sent my bro to the security guard to check if i was standing in the correct queue...Security Guard :"Haan, yeh hi line hai..wahan par hi khade raho." Another look from bro to me..and silence ! At sharp 8:15 we were taken in..

At the Entrance - Passport checked with Interview letter

Security check counter - Different queues for guys and gurls...Girls weren't asked to remove their watches/belts or any other metal jewellery type accessories...Where as guys were asked to remove anythin remotely associated with metal. One guy even had to remove a ring he had in his finger..and i giggled..wooden scale type tokens collected and was directed to the main Hall.

Main Hall - While i was still at the door, i closed my eyes for a min, recollected names of each and every GOD i knew...and entered. Opened my eyes....and DAMN !!!!!!!!! yeh kya hai...all these days, wen i was reading about the counters and telephone booths, I had visualised the consulate hall, if not huge, but at least as big as Ticket area at VT station(well spaced with high ceiling). And here I was in some seminar hall with a low ceiling..So after initial expectations were shattered, I moved in the line where I had to collect the green packet - The docs I submitted 5 days ago were placed in a green colored packet. Collected the packet and the PINK token slip. Then i moved on to counter no1 for finger scanning.

Counter no 1 - Saw an old Fat lady @ the counter. **I fainted** thinking she was the Scarf Lady..recovered the next moment when she greeted me with a smile and a warm gud morning. Convinced my self...Naah..she cannot be the one...shes sweet and also the scarf is missing. Slid the green packet inside, She read and said..another Indiana student..and i again fainted, as i feared if she had some biases against the univ..guess she read my expressions and smiled back..Then she took my pink token, tore one part of it, returned the remaining half to me..I took that and walked towards the seating area. Was more like a waiting room..lobby full with all sorts of people...found a place near the mike(again had read,on forum to sit near the mike where u can hear token nos. clearly). Now here I chose to sit in the front row, proved to be useful..will explain below - How ?

So again I had nothing to do but to wait..it was 9.00 AM and i was waiting for my no. to be called...suddenly i saw the token no. It read - 643...the damn numerologist in me also had to wake up now only...added up the digits...6+4+3 = 13 !!!!! Damn...m gone..m finished..y me ?? mere saath hi kyun hota hai...?? prayed once .. twice ... and then the optimist numerologist in me(which rarely shows up) told me...so what if its 13 ?? Now add up these 2 nos as well..1+3 = 4..FOUR is an even no. I consoled myself..Things wud be even with u..don worry...jus smile...smile as much as u can ! And the confident "me" was back...

The strategic location i chose to sit proved to be advantageous in 2 ways -

1) I cud see the almost all the counters(except for the ones hidden behind the column of the building) --

Counter No 4: I think all H1/B1/L1 Visa's were being issued here. As i cud c nly the Infy/TCS/Deloitte guys going there. Also they did not have bulky folders like students...hence the assumption..
Counter No 6: F1 counter. A thin american lady..very sweet..did not reject a single visa and hardly took 30-40 sec for one person...Every1 arnd hoped to get this counter...
Counter No 5 and 10: For families..i think..cud see many gujrati families going to these counters...
Counter No 8: Old Fat Bald American Guy...he did reject a F1 VISA infront of me...
:
:
:
Similarly there were some more counters...some had not opened until then..And I had my back towards some, hence cudnt see them...

I too was praying for counter no 6...Nos. were called, starting from the sequence 003, 020..etc...mine was 643..so i thought..if these ppl are gonna go sequentially, there is no way i am getting out of the consulate before midnight..(yeah..wen u r worked up, u tend to think everything absurd..)

Six - Seven nos were called together..mine was called at 9:28..
" ***, ***, ***, *** , 643, ... " Now here is where my location again proved to be advantageous...i was in the front row, and as soon as my no. was read, i joined the queue. I was 2nd,even when my no. was called at 5th position.(old selfish mentality u c - me first !!) Anyways...so counter 8 was where i had to go..Fat Bald uncle...heart started pounding...shittt !! thought "No 13" was having its effect...din get time 2 curse any1..else i wud've...coz the first person went in , and came out...

Now, I entered the Visa Booth, placed my folder on the shelf to my left..was tired carrying it...and then the EVENT began...{jiske liye upar ki sab story likhi hai }

ME [Smiling ear to ear] : Goodmorning officer !
{had read on the forum to address him/her as Officer and not sir/ma'am, they like tht..may be he did, coz he smiled back too}
VO : Goodmorning ma'am.
ME : Again a big broad smile...(dunno for what)
VO : Can I have your pink token please?
ME : Sure sir(slid across the window)
VO : So what type of course are you going for?
ME : Its a graduate level course sir.
VO : You mean Masters?
ME : Yes sir, Masters(with full accent..cursed myself for this the very next second, but still smiling..)
VO : It would be masters in which subject ?
ME : Management in Information System, sir.
VO : How many universities did you apply to?
ME : 11 sir, 10 - Admits, 1 - Reject.
VO : Thats good.
ME : Again smiling...
VO [Typing something on the computer] : Your Bachelor's was in?
ME : Computer Engineering sir.
VO : How did you fair there - Ist class/II class.
ME : Ist class throughout sir[smiling again...]
VO : Good, so who is paying for your education?
ME : My family.[My sponsors were - Parents and maternal Grandmother, hence I said family.]
VO : What do your parents do?[Again typing on the computer]
ME : Father is a doctor and is serving as Joint Director in Medical & Health Services, Govt. of Rajasthan and my mother is a professor in English Literature, serving as Head of the Department, in University of Bikaner, Rajasthan.
VO : That sounds good, your Visa has been approved.
ME : Thankyou so much sir, Have a nice day !
VO : Oh, u too !

Smiling all the way from the booth to the consulate EXIT, I came out, looking for a guy who was carrying a ladies purse and a huge bag...surprised?eh??Don't be...was searching for my younger bro...who else can i bully around with, to hold a ladies bag ?? That huge bag contained some unecessary xeroxes of the certificates which i had earned from Class 5th to Class 12th - another paranoic stunt of mine..
Was out by 9:32 AM..

Thereafter,went to siddhi vinayak temple, took bro for a lunch treat(he deserved it after displaying a brave act of patience with me), a few phone calls...shopped a few things and then back home..

Lessons learnt --


1) Do not panic and become hysterical(like me).
2) The VOs are not hooligans..they are there to grant u visa if u r a genuine student and have all d docs in place.
3) **Smile**.. that eases out tension from either end.
4) Take a seat in the sitting area, where nos are audible.
5) Do not pounce on the students who come out from the booth - does not give a very gud impression..VO keeps on looking at students outside. Even while standing out...Smile at him..I did !


Thats it from me guys..A big thanku to all the Edulixians..
Esp. Shadow, THE RAINMAKER, Kuchcha, Shopgirl, APPRENTICE who guided and helped me with Applications and the Visa process !!

I did not go to any CONseller for anything...Edulix simply rocks !

_________________
The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you !!

Next time pakka...

sin²θ + cos²θ=1; sinθ/cosθ=tanθ; Area of circle = πr²...blah blah....were some of the mathematical formulaes that echoed in my ears today...not for a second, or a minute or an hour, but whole day long...I wondered why? Tried very hard to figure out as well..but all in vain ! And suddenly started a slide show of some old forgotten memories before my eyes...some of the excerpts are narrated as below -

A fine Sunday morning..hmm..trust me 5.30 AM by no standards can be a fine morning..anyhow..I'll rephrase my sentence as..on the "so-called" fine sunday morning, a little girl removed her bike and drove it all the way to Mrs. Bansal's Bungalow. My friends then, would have certainly disagreed with the description of that little girl as she was by no means "little". She was a fat chubby football like creature which people now know as Mrids.Enuff about that little Miss. Lets hear something about Mrs. Bansal. She was someone who played a very important role in whatever little I have achieved today. She was the one who made me realise that if you befriend numbers, mathematics is nothing more than a childs play. Yes, you guessed it, she was my maths teacher.

Mrs. Bansal was unlike other maths teachers. She was neither tall and stout, nor had a stern and a straight face.Infact, she had a short stature accompanied by a charming and a talkative personality. Apart from being my maths teacher, she incidentally had a well paid job *wink*.She happened to be the head of the Maths department in Dungar College, Bikaner. She was my mother's colleague and had been garcious and kind to tutor me during summer holidays. I fondly called her Bansal Aunty.

Everytime I went to her with an incomplete homework and an innocent face, she responded with an even more infectious smile. She never questioned my abilities and sincerity towards mathematics as a subject. All she would ask was - "Beta, are you comfortable with my style of teaching? " or "Do you want me to experiment some different teaching style?" I wasn't mature enough to appreciate the maturity she displayed with a 16 year old. May be she understood kids better than anyone else. May be she knew that no student would like to break his head in understanding some god forbidden corollaries and theorms in his summer break. So whenever i was questioned on the homework aspect, i used to carelessly shrug my shoulders and say - "Aunty, Next time pakka..."

Bansal Aunty tutored me for 3 years during my formative years of 10th, 11th and 12th Standard. She made life easier for me by helping me overcome the fear of a monster known as Mathematics. Everytime my percentage soared because of my maths marks, I thanked my lucky pen with which I wrote my exam, my mom and dad for giving me birth so that i could appear for that exam, my doodhwallah, sabziwallah...everyone possible who was remotely associated with my life then. After constant reminders from my mother to utilise the 0.0005% of sensitivity i was left with, I also thanked my dear Bansal Aunty for teaching me the fundas which actually helped me clear the exam. Bansal Aunty never looked forward for any thankyou's from me. She tirelessly worked on me(Yes, she chiseled me like a potter,who works on his mud pot continously). She helped me in devising the tricks and strategies which one should know while appearing for competitive exams. I took a plethora of exams ranging from state engg test(known as Rajasthan PET) to IIT to IIIT...anything and everything..that was remotely related to engg. I managed to clear some of these exams and finally I joined Computer Engineering in Mumbai.Before leaving for Mumbai I had sought Bansal Aunty's blessings.I guess that was the last time I saw her face which was lit with pride and satisfaction coz her student had been successful in achieving the first milestone of her career.

Thereafter, I visited Bikaner twice a year at the end of each semester. Visits were short and hectic. Short because, i was hardly awake in those 10-12 days and hectic coz I had lots of sleep to catch up with. Even parents did not disturb me as they were under the impression that their daughter has worked really hard during the semester. No doubt I slogged, but that was just a week or two before the final exams. Well, that can be a topic for another blog altogether, but for now, lets not digress from the topic. So in those 10-12 days during which I basically did nothing which can be called constructive from any point of view, I could not even spare 10-12 minutes to visit Bansal Aunty who barely stayed at a distance of 10-12 lanes from my place. Everytime my mother used to tell me to go and see her, seek her blessings, share my experiences with her, I used to reluctantly reply - "Ma, next time pakka..."

I was growing and so was Bansal Aunty...the only difference was that I was growing up and she was growing old. But such a simple difference did not occur to me. My priorities had changed..competing with peers, completing a project, a semester, planning movie outings were more important tasks than dropping in at an old teacher's door step.Years passed and I graduated to become a software engineer. An IT firm in Mumbai hired me and I was on cloud nine. I got reasons to get busy with other things in life.

A month back, I decided to meet all my teachers and mentors in bikaner ; seek their blessings and good wishes before I leave for my masters abroad. I had kept a slot from my so called busy schedule to meet Bansal Aunty as well. But i guess she was short of time slots then. I was slapped hard in face, when my father told me this morning that my dear Bansal aunty had passed away on 2nd May' 2007. I craved to meet her, hug her, express my affection & gratitude for everything she had done for me...but I could not...I was even ready to go to her place at 5 AM in the morning, but she would no more be there to welcome me with a broad smile...**sigh**... not only did I feel sorry for her untimely demise, but was also filled with guilt and remorse attributed to my laziness to visit her, thank her, see her glow & smile which she unfailingly radiated back...I so cursed myself for saying that one line - "next time pakka..." **sigh**

But when you lose something, you do gain a lesson ! I too have learnt, that next time, whenever I wanna express my gratitude, affection or love to some one, I would never procastinate in doing so...and I would never ever say.."next time pakka ... "

No time like the present.

Lost, yesterday, somewhere between Sunrise and Sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered, for they are gone forever.

-Horace Mann


As the days are flying by,I am forced to go back memory lanes and remember the days when I was struggling with the frustration which had crept in my life at one point in time.Last year round,at the same time, i was utterly confused and had no clue or direction as to what i wanna do with my life. Not that i know now, but for the time being you can assume that i'll be occupied for the next 2 years. After a tussle between staying in India or going abroad for my masters, the latter won. I did not make the decision overnight - it invloved endless discussions with a dear friend, counselling classes with my chachu, lotsa convincing sessions with parents, sleepless nights..followed by snoring in office...**huff**...all i can do now is **smile** when i think of those days ! I have won a lot many things and lost some of the most dearest of things too during this time frame of 1 year...hmm..lost my confidence when GRE debacle happened,found lotsa courage and strength the very next moment when a friend encouraged me to make the best use of the resources I have at hand and go ahead with applying to univs,lost touch with my dear ones coz i was too busy with mi own things and had no time for any one else,found a brand new meaning to life with new people entering my life ,lost my job(I resigned..hehe) and found an old occupation of being a student..

ahh..I'll stop being nostalgic abt past now..else i wud be sent to "LOST and FOUND" deptt. in a police station..well..so wat else can we do now @ 3 AM?? (Ya..i write blogs at this time of the day only..)

Hmm..shud i think abt whts there in store for me in the coming days? Should the scheduled Visa interview give me pangs?? or should getting an accomodation at Bloomy be my concerns...ahh..how cud i forget the pre-requisite monster which is standing on my head ! Not to forget mounting credit card bills,hassels with flight reservations, dreaded thought of shopping with abs zilch bank balance..

Past brings back sweet and sour memories ; future makes me a lil nervous..So it seems..living in present and njoying last few days in India with friends, family and folks is d best thing to do..

Dunno what to do at 4 in the morning ??

Its almost four in the morning, and sleep has no plans to bless my eyes tonight ! Tonight???ahh..**correction** it will be dawn in a couple of hours..I don't knw what exactly i have been upto for past couple of hours. Few months back Orkutting was my favorite pass time. Things haven't changed much. Edulixing has taken over the previous passion. I check this space more than 24 times in 24 hours. So imagine the frequency of my visits at this forum. I started as a newbie here putting up the most silliest of doubts and then learnt the way to work around with things here. Since then have been arnd helping out the late appers..Trust me the addiction has had such great impact that not only my folks back home know about EDULIX, but you could ask my servant where I would be and zap she would say - didi toh apne computer par baithi EDULIX pe kuch kar rahi hogi !! Read "LFA and EvenStars posts in the yeh meri kahani.." thread.Amazing work this duo has done there.It helps me forget all my frustrations and laugh my heart out..Before I am accused of the edulix publicity I'll change the topic of my non-sensical blog to something else...

Lemme move on from personal gains / motives to some public issues !! ok so the biggest headline on NDTV today??The decision on Jessica lal's case that came out after 7 and a half year long battle.The accused were convicted,Sabrina Lal had a sigh of relief after the victory, Bina Ramani came out as a STAR witness(praised by all PAGE 3 socialites), Shyaan munshi and other hostile witnesses rebuked, Jethmalani the veteran criminal lawyer seems to have reacted very quitely to the post judgement scenario and blah blah.... When all of us had just taken the adage "Justice delayed is justice denied" to be the gospel truth, the judgement in this case proved everyone wrong !! It came like a ray of hope in the most- oft accused Indian judicial System. I have always felt that media is responsible for creating more-than-required hype over non-issue matters. BUT, in this case I would give full credit to various news channels like NDTV, CNN-iBN etc who played a crucial role in re-opening of Jessica's case. The online petitions, the sms polls created the much required awareness among the masses at the correct time and space.

Time helps you grow. I had thought that this was just another cliched statement until I saw Sabrina's interview on NDTV. I had seen the angry & fuming Sabrina, seething with fury, seeking(rather shouting for) justice few months back. Her frustration was attributed to her helplessness. Loosing almost entire family during this struggle was good enough reason to justify her behavior then. The Sabrina I saw on NDTV, today, was totally different. She was happy,satisfied,calm, composed - all in one. When asked her views on the capital punishment for the accused, she replied - "I am totally against death sentence because that would be the most easiest escape for the guilty and would be a very harsh punishment for his family. I want the accused to be punished and not his family" For a moment I was taken aback with her answer,was i hearing the same Sabrina?? Things change and so do people...all of us learn..and time is the best teacher !!

ok..I guess its time to hit the bed now..I should be ending this post here. May be i have better topics to write about tomorrow.I am still learning to blog..so hope my posts get better with each passing day.

Changing times , Changing relationships???

I had been trying real hard to get into the blogging mood since ages. Work, commitments, family, friends and all other reasons were nothing more than mere excuses which I had been using to procastinate this much awaited activity. This might not be the best topic to start off with, but this is something which touched my heart to a great extent.

Couple of weeks back, I had to attend an infosession by some US univ. program director.Post session plans were scrapped off,all thanks to some riots in the city. Statue of a renowned leader was damaged in one part of the country and the brunt of that fued had consequences in Mumbai. It does not surprise me any more, it has become more like a trend. This is the most agonizing thing in this country !! Anyhow, so i could not go anywhere that day and was asked to join my aunt at her work place(which happens to be a court, coz she is a Lawyer). That day she was at the Family Court in Bandra. Divorce cases of the entire city are heard here. Now this is one place I have always hated to be at. A 5-6 floors building at BKC, having a court room on each floor ; it stands erect witnessing each day, the broken homes, severed relationships, innocent kids churned in the ego clashes !! It seemed to me, that the concrete building has also transformed the hearts of the ones sitting in this building (who pass judgements day in day out) into stone as well. Well, thats their job so they can't be blamed for separating the fighting couples. But the sight in the courtroom waiting lounge is one of its kind. It is bound to move any heart made of muscles & arteries. My aunt was still busy settling some issues between her client and her beau, so I decided to wait in that lounge. I noticed a gujju family. The entire affair was like a celebration for the family members of that couple. They were all decked up in bright colored attire and were discussing where they should be taking their lunch !! I was dumbfounded to overhear this kinda of very *important* discussion!!!! I mean..for god sake people, a house(can't call it home anymore) is gonna be broken in few minutes, lives of two people is gonna take a 360 degree turn, a relationship would be coming to an end and here we have nothing better to discuss than the hygine levels of the food served @ the court canteen. Another suggestion which struck my eardrum was to celebrate after the hearing at some place in bandra. **Flabbergasted** I was hardly over this shock when I saw another female bribing her 6 year old with choclates, so that he utters the same words against his dad in the courtroom which he has been taught all this while. Another dude, completely unaffected by his own case was busy reading some novel on Atharva Ved to keep himself busy with things around. There were few others arguing endlessly on some God forbidden matters. They made it sound so BIG that they needed help from some third person to settle their personal scores.

In midst of all this hoopla i was praying every second that my aunt's work gets over soon so that I can get out of this living **HELL** where the innocent toddlers are punished for the mistakes of their parents, the place where individuals part ways never to meet again, the place where dreams are brutally murdered...**sigh**

From the age of the couples I could gauge that most of these marriages could not even last for 4-5 years. I was forced to ponder, if the meaning of this sacred institution was actually changing??? We may have become computer literates, we might claim to be earning 4 times our previous generation , may boast of becoming ultra modern guys living in the 21st century, but our generation certainly needs to LEARN basics of sincerity, committment, trust and forgiveness from our ancestors.